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5 Really Tough Steps to Bring Happiness Back after THAT class

February 13, 2018 Leave a Comment Written by Sam

Originally posted on SuccessInTheClassroom.com

The bell finally rings, and not a second too soon. You say the words, “OK class, have a great day. See you tomorrow,” but you really don’t want to see them tomorrow, especially after today. Right?

You had THAT class today, and you’re ready to say some words that are not really appropriate for school. You’re mad. You’re frustrated. You’re stressed. I know. I’ve been there. We’ve all had those days.

Your happiness is missing in action, and you want it back. You need it back. You don’t want to go home and bring that frustration to your family. It’s not fair to them. Right?

Here are 5 steps that you can take to bring your happiness back. I have to warn you, however, these steps are not for the weak. These steps take some guts. Most teachers won’t want to take these steps. They’ll want to stay upset and stressed. You’re not like most teachers, however. You need to do whatever it takes to fight the desire to stay stressed. You are an amazing teacher. You can do this. Right?

Ready?

Here are the 5 Really Tough Steps to Bring Happiness Back After THAT Class:

Identify everything that went – RIGHT.

I bet if I asked you to make a list of all that went WRONG today, you would find it very easy to do. That is because our brains will naturally focus on the negative. It’s part of our brain’s defense mechanism. What I’m asking you to do in this step is to stop listening to the little voice in your head that has you thinking of all that went WRONG, and take some time and identify all that went RIGHT today. That’s tough. It’s actually unnatural for us to do that, especially when we’re stressed. Making the choice to look for the good is a tough thing to do when you’re frustrated, but you are an amazing teacher. You can do this. Take out a piece of paper or use your whiteboard, and make a list of what went RIGHT today. The drive to work was pleasant. Mary turned in her homework for the first time. The computer didn’t freeze while you were using it. The room was clean when you walked in. The sun was out. The air conditioner worked. You get the idea. You’ll realize that once you get started, you’ll find that although there were many things that went WRONG, there were much more things that went RIGHT.

Rewrite your Blame Page.

This step is a really tough one for a lot of teachers, but not you. You got this.

When you look back at your rough day, it’s easy to place blame on students, colleagues, unexpected events, etc. I know when I had THAT class, I would blame certain students in THAT class for my bad day. If only Johnny was absent today, it would have been a good day. If only Briana was more focused, it would have been a good day. If only I didn’t have so many students with really low skills in my class, it would have been a good day. We all have a Blame Page. This is where we list all the people, events, and circumstances that keep us from having the good day that we desire. What I’m asking you to do with this step is to rewrite your Blame Page and take everybody and everything off that list, except for one name. Yours.

Yes, Johnny was a knucklehead again. Yes, the teacher’s aide didn’t show up today. Yes, the technology in the classroom didn’t work, and we have every right to blame our bad day on these, but don’t. Take them off your Blame Page and ask yourself, “What did I do (or not do) to cause me to have this bad day?”

“That’s tough, Sam.”

I know, but it’s the question that amazing teachers ask themselves every time they plans don’t work out like they expected. By accepting responsibility for today’s disaster, you allow your brain to begin to start figuring out what needs to change for tomorrow, and that change will begin with you. I should have planned a better lesson. I should have put Johnny in a seat away from his friend. I should have contacted Briana’s mother about her lack of focus. By remaining upset or stressed, you don’t allow your brain to do its creative magic. This is a tough step, but taking it will allow you to have a better day tomorrow and make today easier to put behind you.

Smile.

I know you’re saying that this is really not a tough step to take. Smiling is easy. Right? Well, when you find yourself so frustrated after THAT class that you’re ready to strangle someone, smiling is not something that you want to do. It will be tougher than you realize. Still, making the effort to smile in the middle of your frustration has a natural effect of easing that frustration and bringing a little bit of your happiness back. There’s a natural connection with smiling and your brain’s releasing of the chemicals that promote happiness. When we smile, even if it’s a fake smile, we trick the brain into giving us a dose of the happy chemicals. Give it a try. The next time THAT class is getting your nerves, smile. Better yet, smile at the class. They might think you’re crazy, but that’s OK. Go ahead and fake it. Even an ingenuous smile has the effect of bringing a dose happiness into your day.

Practice grateful breathing.

“What is grateful breathing, Sam?” I’m glad you asked. We’ve all heard how when you’re stressed or frustrated, we need to just breathe. Right? I hate when people tell me that, especially when I’m upset. I don’t want to “just breathe.” I want to just throw something.

This is why this step is particularly difficult as well. We don’t want to breathe. We want to say something inappropriate. Still, we know that breathing exercises are beneficial to help reduce stress.

Grateful breathing is taking it to the next level and not only reducing stress, but inviting happiness into our day. Here’s what you do: You take a long breath in though your nose, then exhale slowly out your mouth. The key to grateful breathing is to finish exhaling by saying the words, “Thank you.” This step works best if you have already taken step 1 – Identify everything that went RIGHT. You can begin to think about your list of good things, and be grateful for them as you breathe out. This won’t be easy for most teachers. They’ll want to stay mad, and look out if you happen to run into them after THAT class. You’re not like most teachers. You are amazing, and I am grateful for you.

Make someone’s day.

Of all the steps mentioned in this post, this step is the most difficult. This step asks you to stop thinking about your own situation and focus on the situation of others. After you’ve had THAT class, you are dealing with a lot of negative emotions, and you would love it if someone would come into your room and just give you a hug or at least allow you to vent. When we’re feeling stressed or frustrated, we like going to our best friend and telling him/her all about it. We lay it all out there (whether they want to hear it or not.) It’s because we want to feel better. We want to be happy again. That is natural.

What isn’t natural is making the decision – in the middle of our frustration – to make someone else happy.

I like using this step as a weapon against my stress.

It’s not easy. In fact the last time I used it was only because my wife – who I was venting to at the time – made me do it. I was on the phone complaining to her about what had made me upset, and she listened quietly until I was finished. The she said, “Now go do something nice for someone.” I have to admit, that was not the response I was expecting. So, as hard as it was to stop brooding about what I was experiencing, I obeyed my wife’s instructions and walked into a teacher’s classroom and pointed at her and said, “Just want you to know…I think you’re amazing. Just sayin’.” It wasn’t much, but when she smiled and thanked me, I know it made her day, and as a result, I couldn’t help but smile. It was awesome. Happiness returned, and life was good again.

We all have THAT class or THOSE days. They just happened. Right.

We don’t have to let them steal our happiness or keep us stressed. I’ve learned that there are steps that we can take to take back control of our emotions and teach and live happier. These are just five, and they’re probably the toughest steps to take, but if you are committed to not letting THAT class ruin your day, these steps will help bring happiness back.

I hope you found this post valuable. You can find more strategies to invite more happiness into your days in my book, Teach Happier – 21 stress-reducing, joy-inspiring, burnout-avoiding strategies to help teachers love their jobs and have more success in the classroom.

Do you know a teacher who might benefit from this post? Please share by clicking on the Social Media icons below.

Until next time, here’s to your Success in the Classroom!

Thank you,

Sam

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Three Words to Have More Success in The Classroom and in Life

February 13, 2018 Leave a Comment Written by Sam

Originally posted on SuccessInTheClassroom.com

As you may know, I love reading books that help me be a better educator, husband, father, friend and colleague. A lot of what I’ve learned, I’ve put in my book, Teach Happier.

Recently, I picked up Brendon Burchard’s High Performance Habits – How Extraordinary People Become That Way, and I have been writing notes like crazy. It is quickly becoming one of my favorite resources.

In his book, Brendon offers some great advice called, Three Aspirational Words.

“If you could describe yourself in just three aspirational words—words that would sum up who you are at your best in the future—what would those words be?” Brendon Burchard

This got me thinking. What three words would I want people to someday use to describe me? This could be the teachers at my school, my administration colleagues, my wife, my kids, my friends, etc.

I thought it was pretty cool idea.

So, I spend some time writing down words that I would want to have people use to someday describe me, and I narrowed my list down to three words: Uplifting, Present and Calm.

Uplifting

I have a good friend named, Jackie, and she is one of those people who I would describe as uplifting. Every time I meet her, I come away encouraged, inspired and uplifted. In fact, Jackie was the first person who I gave a copy of my book to. I knew she would be encouraging and supportive. I would love to have people talk about me like people talk about her. To become this, I have to make a decision to focus less on myself and more on the person or people who I am interacting with at the time. The focus of the interaction becomes less of what I can get out of the time I spend with them and more on what I can give to them in the time we spend.

Present

I have to be honest. This is going to be a tough one for me. Too often, my wife will get upset, because I’ll hear a ding from my phone in the middle of our conversation, and I’ll look to see who emailed or texted me. I know that’s bad. I wonder how often I do this at work. Brendon Burchard shares in his book that one of the most common traits of high performing people is respect. They are respected, because they are good at respecting others. Being present and focused on the person which whom you are speaking with is a form of showing respect. Again, like being uplifting, the focus is in meeting the needs of the person you are talking to and less on meeting our own needs.

Calm

In Scott Mautz’ book, Find the Fire, he writes, “In the middle of a crisis, be the calmest person in the room.” To me, to be calm is to be in control of my emotions. I can’t be that person who allows a negative situation to upset me or cause me to lose control of my emotions. For example, we had an evening event recently where we invited the community to our school. We had inflatable jumpers and food booths, along with some other fun activities. While I was supervising one of the jumpers, one of my students jumped in without getting in line not knowing that I was watching him. I got upset, and I yelled at him. I was mad. Then, to my embarrassment, I realized that I was surrounded by parents and kids and other visitors, and now they were all looking at me. I had let my emotions control me, and I looked the complete opposite of calm. As a leader, at school or at home, I need to portray an appearance of calm and control, even if I’m totally stressed out or upset inside.

The point of Brendon’s exercise is after you identify these three aspirational words, use them to influence how you interact with people in your life, so that someday people use these words to describe you.

He recommends that you set an alarm on your smartphone that reminds you throughout the day of your three aspirational words. I chose to do something different. Sorry Brendon. What I did was to create graphic with my three words using the Font-Candy App, and I made that graphic the one I see first every time I turn on my phone. I’ve added it here. This my beautiful family on our recent vacation in Hawaii.

So my questions to you is: What are your three aspirational words?

If you were to take a little time to consider how you would want people to describe you in the future, what three words would you want them to use?

Feel free to use my words if you would like. I believe teachers who are known as uplifting, present and calm are the most successful.

The best part of this exercise is that the effects of our efforts to live up to our aspirational words will not only lead to more success in our professional lives, but in our personal lives as well. Not only will your students benefit, but your colleagues, your spouse, your own children, your friends, etc.

I would love to know what words you chose as your three aspirational words. Please tweet or comment below.

A special thanks to Brendan Burchard for his inspirational book. I hope to meet you some day, take a selfie and thank you in person.

Until next time, here’s to your Success in the Classroom!

Thanks,

Sam

Resources mentioned in post:

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Teach Happier Strategy #22: Identify What’s in the Full Half of Your Glass.

February 13, 2018 Leave a Comment Written by Sam

Originally posted on SuccessInTheClassroom.com

As you know, I have just released my latest book, Teach Happier – 21 stress-reducing, joy-inspiring, burnout-avoiding strategies to help teachers love their jobs and have more success in the classroom. I am so proud of this book, because it provides some practical strategies that teachers can implement into their lives to bring more happiness into their classrooms, and as a result have more success.

As I continue my journey into the topic of happiness, I have found more and more books on the subject. One book that I recently read was Mo Gawdat’s, Solve for Happy – Engineer Your Path to Joy. In this book, Mo asks the question, “What’s in the full half of the glass?”

We often hear how some people see the glass half full, while others see the glass half empty. We identify these people as either optimistic or pessimistic based on how they see their glass.

Mo, along with a lot of other experts in the topic of happiness, tell us that our brains are naturally inclined to focus on the negative – the empty half of the glass. We have what experts call a negativity bias.

It’s not a bad thing. It’s just the way we are programmed.

What Mo helps us to do, to bring more happiness back into our lives, is remind us that we have a choice. We can choose to focus on what we don’t have – the empty half, or we can make a decision to identify what we do have – the full half of the glass.

After reading Mo’s book, it inspired me to add another Teach Happier strategy – number 22: Identify What’s in the Full Half of Your Glass.

As teachers, it’s easy for us to make a list of what we don’t have – enough time, working technology, students reading at grade level, supportive parents, enough school supplies, etc. By focusing on what we don’t have – the empty half of the glass, we feel frustrated, stressed, and unhappy.

What this strategy asks teachers to do is to take time to identify what is in the full half of their glass. What is it that you do have? If I was a teacher, my list would include: A good-paying job, a clean work environment, helpful co-workers, air conditioning, a free prep period, lunch time with friends, the smiling faces and “good mornings,” of my students as they walk in the door, etc.

By choosing to take the time to identify and list what’s in the full half of our glass, we can’t help but be happier, and that will make it a better day for everyone, especially your students.

This is a strategy that I have not only used in my professional life, but I’ve also begun making a list of what’s in my personal life’s full half of the glass: My lovely wife, my kids, the ability to see the beauty of nature as a I go for my morning run, the ability to run, the ability to see, chocolate, friends, my church family, my piano, the joy of leading the congregation in a time of praise and worship on Sundays, reading a good book, and the list goes on.

I felt happier just making that list. Why?

Once we begin to identify what’s in the full half of our glass, we cannot help but to feel grateful. Life has so many more good things for us than bad things, and when we take time to realize this, that feeling of gratitude fill us up, and gratitude is a key component and catalyst of happiness.

I would encourage you to begin your list. What’s in the full half of your glass? I have my list on my phone’s note pad app. Every time I think of something that I am grateful for, I pull out my phone and jot it down. I know that when I’m beginning to fall back into my “glass half empty” mode, all I have to do is read through my ever-growing list of good things on my phone.

Give it a try. Begin your list.

Please feel free to share your list with others by commenting below or on Twitter. Use the hashtag: #teachhappier.

Until next time, here’s to your Success in the Classroom!

Thanks,

Sam

Don’t forget to check out my book. It’s available on Kindle too.

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Teach Happier – The Strategies

March 31, 2017 Leave a Comment Written by Sam

Here are the 21 strategies that I include in the book.

Strategy #1: Create a Purpose Statement

Strategy #2: The Gratitude Wall

Strategy #3: 21 Days of Gratitude

Strategy #4: Thank Your Class

Strategy #5: The Surprise Appreciation

Strategy #6: The Positive Journal

Strategy #7: The Gratitude Email

Strategy #8: Talk Behind Someone’s Back

Strategy #9: The Grateful Welcome

Strategy #10: Smile

Strategy #11: The Starving Child

Strategy #12: The Control List

Strategy #13: Get Rid of the Bad Kids

Strategy #14: Pick up the Penny

Strategy #15: The Positive Experience Wall

Strategy #16: Set Amazing Goals

Strategy #17: You’re an Iceberg

Strategy #18: Respond Like Richelle

Strategy #19: Join the Party

Strategy #20: Secret Santa in March

Strategy #21: Grateful Breathing

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Posts by Sam

5 Really Tough Steps to Bring Happiness Back after THAT class

Identify everything that went – RIGHT.

Rewrite your Blame Page.

Smile.

Practice grateful breathing.

Make someone’s day.

Three Words to Have More Success in The Classroom and in Life

Uplifting

Present

Calm

Teach Happier Strategy #22: Identify What’s in the Full Half of Your Glass.

Teach Happier – The Strategies

Teach Happier

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